Someone told me recently that if we want to become more considerate people we should practice putting ourselves in other people’s shoes. At first this seems easy, but when we really think about it (or try it) I have found it is actually a very deep and difficult practice.

To see the world from another person’s perspective requires us to step out of our own perspective. We must try to really understand what other people are going through, how they feel, and how they deal with their experiences.

Take for example listening to someone else talk about their day. This is an example we probably all have experience with. We come home from work or school or our various other activities and share what we went through that day. I believe that many times when we listen to another person talk about their day we are really just giving them room to talk, blow off steam, or share something exciting.

It is important to give people space and time to talk. I think though that if we really try to put ourselves in someone else’s shoes we do more than just let them talk. A good listener not only gives someone an attentive ear, they can also understand the difficulties the person is having, the emotions they feel, and the importance of having a caring person to talk with.

Sometimes when someone shares their day with us we are listening to stories about events that we did not experience. Can we decipher how these events impacted the person who is sharing? How it makes this person feel, why this person wants to talk about them.

Here are some thoughts I have about reasons why people share their days with their family and friends:

• They had a really great or awful day
• To vent
• Because the story involves or relates to the person who they are sharing with
• They are excited
• They just need some attention from someone who cares

In relation to this I also have a list of reasons why I feel we listen when other people share their lives (or just their day) with us:

• We are interested in what they are talking about
• We would like them to listen to our day when they are done
• It is part of a tradition or ritual we are used to
• We want to give them a supportive listener
• So that we can better understand how they feel now
• To console

The practice of putting ourselves in other people’s shoes extends far beyond listening to someone share about their day. I have picked this as an example, however, because it is something that we may experience on a daily basis. Next time you listen to someone share about their day think about what it means to really put ourselves in someone else’s shoes. Surely their is more you can add to this topic.